Think back to your first few weeks as a member of your organization.

You probably learned a lot. The history of your organization, its values, its traditions, maybe even a few songs or chants. You learned who held which leadership positions, what events were important, and what it meant to officially become part of something bigger than yourself.

But think about everything you learned that wasn’t part of your new member education.

You learned which events people actually showed up for and which ones they skipped. You learned how members talked about other chapters when they weren’t around. You learned whether recruitment was something everyone participated in or something a handful of officers stressed about. You learned what happened when someone didn’t follow through on a commitment, how leaders responded to conflict, and whether the values you heard about during recruitment were actually reflected in everyday membership.

Nobody necessarily sat you down and taught you those things. You learned them by watching.

And right now, the newest members of your organization are doing the exact same thing.

Think about how this plays out in something as fundamental to chapter growth as recruitment. We spend a lot of time talking about developing the next generation of leaders. We encourage new members to get involved, apply for positions, join committees, and eventually take ownership of the chapter’s future.

But leadership development doesn’t begin when someone receives a title. It begins the moment they join.

Every interaction, expectation, and experience is helping new members build an understanding of what membership looks like in your organization. They’re learning which behaviors are celebrated, which responsibilities are taken seriously, and which expectations are flexible when things get inconvenient.

And here’s where it gets interesting:

What your chapter consistently does will almost always teach more than what your chapter says it believes.

➜ You can tell new members that recruitment is a year-round responsibility, but if they only see members talking about growth during specific times of the year, what are they actually learning?

➜ You can tell them that relationships are the foundation of membership, but if nobody follows up when someone stops showing up, what does that communicate about belonging?

➜ You can emphasize accountability during new member education, but if experienced members regularly ignore expectations without consequence, what standard are you establishing?

These aren’t isolated moments. They’re lessons. Over time, those lessons become expectations. Those expectations become habits. And those habits become the chapter culture that future members will inherit.

One of the most important things a new member learns is what it means to grow their organization. Unfortunately, in many chapters, the first lesson isn’t necessarily the one we want them to learn.

➜ They watch recruitment become an all-consuming priority for a few weeks, only to disappear from the chapter’s conversations once bids are extended.

➜ They watch recruitment officers carry the weight of membership goals while everyone else waits to be told when and where to show up.

➜ They watch members treat conversations with potential members as a task to complete rather than an opportunity to build a meaningful relationship.

Then, a year or two later, those same new members become recruitment leaders. And we’re surprised when they struggle to create year-round engagement, inspire member buy-in, or build authentic relationships.

But where would they have learned to do those things differently?

If we want future members to understand that recruitment is everyone’s responsibility, they need to experience that belief in action long before they’re asked to lead it.

➜ They need to see members making connections outside of organized recruitment events.

➜ They need to watch people genuinely invest in getting to know potential members without immediately asking whether they’ll join.

➜ They need to see leaders using systems like ChapterBuilder to remember conversations, follow up intentionally, and ensure people don’t fall through the cracks.

Most importantly, they need to understand that recruitment isn’t a performance we put on when we need new members. It’s a reflection of how we build relationships all the time.

And those relationships shouldn’t stop mattering the moment someone accepts a bid. The same behaviors that teach new members how to recruit are also teaching them what it means to belong, contribute, and stay.

Think about the behaviors your newest members are witnessing after bid day.

➜ When someone misses a meeting, does anybody check in because they genuinely care about that person? Or do they only hear from leadership when there’s a fine attached?

➜ When a member is struggling to feel connected, does someone take the initiative to build a relationship? Or do we assume that belonging is something they’ll eventually figure out on their own?

➜ When members express frustration, do leaders listen and engage in productive conversations? Or does the chapter normalize complaining behind closed doors without ever addressing the actual problem?

These moments shape how new members understand retention, even if they’ve never heard anyone use that word.

They learn whether membership is a relationship or a transaction. Whether accountability comes from care or control. Whether belonging is something the organization actively creates or something each individual is responsible for finding.

And eventually, when they’re the experienced members watching someone else struggle, they’ll likely respond based on what they’ve seen.

Retention isn’t just something we measure at the end of a semester. It’s something we’re teaching members to take responsibility for every single day.

Of course, recognizing the importance of these everyday interactions also means acknowledging a more uncomfortable reality: not every behavior we’re passing down is one we should want the next generation to repeat. Here’s the part that might be uncomfortable.

Sometimes the biggest obstacles to chapter growth aren’t a lack of strategy, resources, or leadership training. They’re the behaviors we’ve allowed to become normal.

Maybe it’s the member who consistently skips recruitment events but still expects to have a say in membership decisions. Maybe it’s the officer who doesn’t follow through, but nobody wants to have the uncomfortable conversation. Maybe it’s the chapter that talks about wanting to grow while simultaneously making excuses for why reaching out to new people isn’t a priority.

Individually, these moments can seem small. It’s easy to justify them, overlook them, or promise ourselves we’ll address them later.

But newer members are paying attention.

➜ Every time we avoid accountability, we’re teaching something about accountability.

➜ Every time we tolerate disengagement, we’re teaching something about participation.

➜ Every time we choose convenience over connection, we’re teaching something about what our organization values.

That doesn’t mean members need to be perfect. It doesn’t mean leaders can’t make mistakes or that every chapter needs to operate at full capacity every moment of the year.

It means we have to recognize the difference between extending grace and normalizing behaviors that undermine the culture we’re trying to create.

Because eventually, the members watching those decisions will be the ones making them.

And if we never challenge the behaviors holding our chapter back, we shouldn’t be surprised when the next generation repeats them.

That’s what makes this conversation about so much more than recruitment, retention, or even accountability. It’s about how we’re preparing people to take ownership of an organization long before we formally hand them the responsibility.

We often think of leadership transitions as the moment responsibility passes from one group of members to another. New officers are elected, responsibilities are handed over, and we hope the incoming team is ready to take the organization forward.

But by the time that transition happens, much of their understanding of leadership has already been formed.

➜ They’ve watched how decisions get made.

➜ They’ve seen whether officers collaborate or operate in silos.

➜ They’ve observed how leaders respond when things don’t go according to plan.

➜They’ve learned whether people use the tools and systems available to them or simply reinvent the wheel every year.

And perhaps most importantly, they’ve developed their own understanding of what the chapter is capable of accomplishing.

If they’ve spent their membership watching people approach growth with curiosity, collaboration, and intentionality, they’re more likely to believe those things are possible.

If they’ve watched people resist change, avoid responsibility, and settle for the way things have always been done, that becomes their starting point instead.

This is why leadership development can’t be reserved for the people who hold positions.

Every member is learning how to lead, whether we realize it or not. And every member is contributing to what the next generation believes leadership should look like.

So, if you could step into your chapter as a brand-new member today, with no context, no history, and no understanding of how things are supposed to work, what would you learn?

➜ Would you believe that every member has a role in recruitment?

➜ Would you see people building meaningful relationships without being asked?

➜ Would you experience a culture where accountability and care coexist?

➜ Would you see leaders making decisions rooted in the values your organization claims to uphold?

Or would you learn that growth is someone else’s job, that expectations depend on who’s involved, and that the way things have always been done is probably the way they’ll stay?

These are questions worth asking, not because every chapter needs to have everything figured out, but because the future of your organization is being shaped by the behaviors you’re normalizing right now.

Your newest members aren’t waiting for permission to start learning how to lead.

They’re already watching. They’re already learning. And someday, they’ll be the ones deciding what membership looks like for the people who come after them.

The question isn’t whether you’re teaching them. It’s what you’re teaching them to believe is normal.

Written by Becca Lahr, Growth Consultant