Recruitment season has a funny way of making us really good at noticing people. 

→ We notice who showed up. Who didn’t. 

→ Who hasn’t responded to a text. Who seems excited. 

→ Who might need another conversation. Who has questions. 

→ Who connected with whom. 

We talk about names, relationships, conversations and follow-up constantly.

And then recruitment ends – And they accept our invite. 

They join, they participate in Bid Day or they go through the New Member Ceremony. And from there, the meetings begin. The group chat fills up, the calendar is overflowing. Everyone moves forward.

But did everyone move forward with us?

That might be one of the most important questions we can ask after recruitment.

Because getting someone to say yes is one moment. Making sure they continue to feel seen, wanted and connected after that yes takes a whole lot more.

A “yes” isn’t the same as belonging.

Think about how much intentionality goes into recruiting someone.

We learn their name. We ask questions. We remember the things they told us. We introduce them to people we think they ight connect with. We invite them somewhere. Then we follow up and invite them again. 

We work really hard to help someone feel like they matter.

But somewhere between recruitment and becoming an active member, it can become easy to assume the building relationship part is done.

They joined. They’re in the Group Chat. They know when the meetings are. They get the notifications. They’re officially one of us.

But being included and feeling like you belong are two very different things.

→ Someone can be sitting in the room and still wonder where they fit.

→ Some can have 100 new people in their phone and still not know who they would text if they needed something.

→ Someone can be excited that they joined and still feel uncomfortable walking in to the next event alone.

The decision to join doesn’t just automatically create belonging. People do.

Look Beyond Who Is Missing

When we think about someone “falling through the cracks” we usually picture the member who just stopped showing up.

Sometimes though it isn’t that obvious.

A new member misses a meeting. Someone stops responding in the group chat. A person who seemed excited during recruitment hasn’t attended anything since Bid Daqy,

Those things are worth noticing.

But there are quieter signals, too.

→ What about the person who comes to every meeting but leaves as soon as it’s over?

→ The person who is always there, but rarely gets pulled into the conversation?

→ The person who hasn’t seemed to find their people yet?

→ Or even the person who seems completely fine, so nobody has thought to check in on them?

Social Excellence asks us to pay attention to people. Not just the loudest person in the room. Not just the person who makes it obvious that they need something. And not just the people who naturally make it easy for us to connect with them.

Most of the time, the person who needs another connection isn’t going to ask for one.

It’s up to us to notice that.

Don’t just Follow Up. Go To them.

There’s a really important difference between checking attendance and checking in on a person.

“Hey there! We missed you at the meeting last night!”

Isn’t quite the same as…

“Hey there! I realized we haven’t gotten to hang out much since Bid Day. Want to grab coffee this week?”

One is about what they missed – the other is about them.

If someone seems like they might be pulling away, our first instinct can be to remind them about the next event, add them to another chat, or make sure they know what is coming up.

But maybe what they need isn’t another reminder.
Maybe they just need a person.

Go back to the same skills that helped you recruit them in the first place. Ask a question. Get curious. Remember something they told you (maybe use that ChapterBuilder account and peek at the notes we wrote about them to help). Invite them personally. Spend time together without an agenda.

In other words, recruit them again.
Not because you’re trying to convince them to stay. 

Because relationships require continued effort long after someone says yes.

The Close Isn’t Really the End.

We talk alot about “closing” in recruitment.

→ Did we ask the question?

→ Did we help someone make a decision?

→ Did we follow up?

→ Did they say yes?

But maybe we need to rethink where the close actually happens.

Because recruitment doesn’t move cleanly from relationship… to decision… to done.

It looks a little more like…
Relationship → Decision → Transition → Belonging → Commitment

A bid is an invitation.

A signed membership agreement is a decision.

But neither one guarantees that someone actually feels connected to the chapter they just joined.

That part comes next.

And it might deserve just as much intentionality as everything we did to get them there.

Who Haven’t You Noticed Lately?

So, here’s the challenge:
Think about the people who joined your chapter this year.

Not just the person you’re worried about.
Not just the person whose name appeared on an excused or unexcused absence list.

→ Who haven’t you talked to lately?

→ Who haven’t you gotten to know beyond recruitment?

→ Who hasn’t quite found their person yet?

→ Who might be waiting for someone else to make their first move?

Pick one person.

Text them. Sit next to them. Invite them to coffee. Ask a real question.

Find a reason to spend time together that has absolutely nothing to do with getting them to attend the next chapter meeting or event.

Go toward them.

→ Not because you need something from them.
→ Not because you’re trying to improve your retention numbers.

But because they are a person worth knowing.

Recruitment might have brought them through the door.

But what happens next is what gives them a reason to stay.

Written by Colleen Blevins, Senior Director of Digital Products & Marketing