Ryan Addis is a recent alumnus of Grand Valley State University, and a member of a student organization we’ve been proud to support over the years.  He shared an anecdote with us via Facebook message about applying Social Excellence to his new career that we just had to share.  Here are his words:

"I’ve had some great success with social excellence I wanted to share. I’m working an armed security job in some rough neighborhoods in MI (Flint & Pontiac), and was tasked with trying to build rapport with residents in my patrol area who have some pretty poor views on security, police, and authority in general. By utilizing some techniques and ideas from Phired Up I’ve been able to build great respectful relationships with nearly all of the residents in my patrol zones. One shining example is a known gang member with a reputation for trouble. Word on the street was that the guard who patrolled before me caused a lot hardship for him, and his life was in danger. Naturally the thought of having a bounty on my head was unsettling, but I saw it as a challenge to be better than the rest. I eventually had the opportunity to strike up a conversation with "RayRay", and he surprisingly began to open up to me an incredible amount. In a very sneaky way I used fun zone/deep zone questions to break down the stereotype barriers and by the time the conversation had concluded I had learned all about his interests, passions, and even convinced/encouraged him to pursue his dreams of being an architect and going to school instead of continuing to commit crimes. This is just one of many examples but I have to tell you, I was proud of the outcome and my increasing social awareness/excellence. Over the course of a month at one site I have changed the views of many tenants about authority, and managed to create relationships with everyone through simple communication and caring. So thank you for teaching the idea of social excellence and equipping me with techniques to create such a positive impact on my environment."

by Matt Mattson

The definition of Social Excellence includes, "A desire to intentionally connect with others." and " The highest level of societal participation and contribution." Consider tomorrow (election day) a day for a special Social Excellence Dare:

We Dare You to knock on doors (no matter your party affiliation), and ask people to go vote with you. Offer rides, walk together, or take public transportation together.  On the way, have an open, accepting, deep conversation about stuff that matters to you. Do not try to change their mind (it’s probably too late for that). Just learn something and make sure you get at least one other person to vote with you.

Four years ago I had a great time knocking on doors as a volunteer for one of the candidates.  But you don’t have to be a volunteer with a campaign to engage with others and ask them, "Want to go vote together?"

There are very few other opportunities where it is truly socially acceptable to walk up to a stranger’s door and ask them to go do something really important.  Take advantage of the opportunity to connect with others tomorrow. And most importantly, GO VOTE!

Want to know when/where to vote? Click here .

by Matt Mattson

This post was on my Facebook Newsfeed yesterday, and it made me smile. Social Excellence DARES us to engage with not only the people around us, but also the society around us. A line in the definition of Social Excellence reads, "The deepest level of societal participation and contribution."

So, at this vital juncture in our time as Americans, will you choose to engage? Will you choose to talk to your neighbors, representatives, family members, classmates, co-workers, and friends about the future of our society?

If you’re new to engaging with people about the important topics of our time, try some of these questions (you’ll note that none of them are, "So, who are you voting for?")

This election feels important, what issues are most important to you?

If you were in charge of the country for a day, what impression would you want to leave?

Who are the political leaders that you really admire?

How can we get more people in our [neighborhood, school, workplace, club, etc.] to vote?

We know it can be a bit scary to talk to people during election season — with all the sharp tones, accusatory mailers, incessant political phone calls, and attack ads, the tone of public discourse is not exactly pleasant — but that’s why Social Excellence matters right now. Will you talk to the people in your life about THE FUTURE OF OUR NATION? Our nation requests your service in this regard. It is what we’re founded upon. Just do it in a Socially Excellent manner.

Go talk to people. It is your civic duty.

by Matt Mattson

I am an introvert . I don’t thrive off of large groups. Spending time alone gives me fuel. Quiet solitude is where I find some of life’s greatest joys. My natural tendency is to separate from the crowd… or at least seek a very small group of people to spend time with. I am an introvert.

Also, I am a professional speaker, trainer and coach. I work with large groups of people nearly every day for a living. I teach people social skills, I urge social engagement, and I co-authored a book on SOCIAL EXCELLENCE .  My work requires extraordinary amounts of social interaction, and I love my work.

It seems like those two preceding paragraphs couldn’t both be true about the same person.  I promise they are though. 100%. That’s me.

I’m reading a book about introverts title, "Quiet " by Susan Cain (see her TED Talk here, and read a recent NY Times editorial that she wrote here).  I’ll reserve my review of this book for another time, but I will share that it really got me thinking that there are probably a lot of "introverts" who hear our message of Social Excellence and assume it’s not for them. "I’m just not a people person," they might think. "I do my best work alone," they might even say.

I would offer, however, that the way we interact socially with the people around us is a) a choice, and b) the determining factor in our level of influence on the world around us.  While I might do my best work when I’m alone, I can’t share that work, those thoughts, those insights, with the outside world while I’m in my introverted bubble.  No matter the life path, I must eventually engage socially for my work to mean anything.  Are there exceptions to this? Probably. But most of us, if we want to change people’s minds, sell our wares, recruit new donors or members, influence others, or BE A LEADER, we must do so through other human beings .  We are social animals living in a SOCIETY. Our interactions with each other are the conduit through which that society flows.

I might be an introvert, but I make a choice to be Socially Excellent.  Do I take breaks, go quiet, disappear into the safety and warmth of alone time occasionally?  Yep. And I’m proud of it. In fact, I would recommend that to everyone who values a little quiet space. But I also deeply understand that the more hands I choose to shake, conversations I choose to have, and relationships I choose to build, the greater my potential to learn from others, be exposed to new ideas and experiences, have more people to support me when I need them, and influence others.

I might be an introvert, but I also want to matter to the world when it’s all said and done.  I know that the best way for me to do that, the best way for me to make a big impact, the best way for me to create the change I wish to see in the world is through my relationships with others.

Plus, once I started to choose Social Excellence as a lifestyle, I had better stories, more fun, and more success.

Yes, introverts can be Socially Excellent.