by Matt Mattson

Back in December of 2009 I delivered a small breakout session with my friend Brandon Cutler at AFA titled Fraternal Extremes.  Some pretty wild ideas came out of the session that you can see here and here.  Imagine the compelling story we could tell potential members if these ideas were put into action.

Funny thing…  Someone actually put these ideas into action!  I love being inspired by fraternity/sorority life, and this is one of those occasions. 

Two quick notes to make this post absolutely relevant to our blog and Phired Up’s messages.

1. If we’ve never clearly stated it before, Social Excellence necessitates a dedication to social good (at least that’s what I believe).  If fraternities & sororities are going to truly become socially excellent, they must do bold things like the stuff described in the E-mail below.
2. Want to be better at recruitment?  Have cool stories to tell.  Don’t be boring.  The stuff in the E-mail below makes me want to join their organizations.

What’s really cool is that I’m about to deliver a similar session to the one I helped deliver at AFA when I’m at FEA Field Staff tomorrow.  Could this E-mail I got (below) be any more timely?

Read and be inspired.  Thanks Alex.

 —–Original Message—–
From: Brown, Alex
Sent: Tuesday, July 20, 2010 8:43 AM
To: Matt@PhiredUp.com
Subject: Extreme Fraternalism Follow Up

Good morning sir,

This is Alex Brown, and I met you at the 2009 AFA Annual Meeting. I attended your Extreme Fraternalism presentation, and shared some of our projects from the South Dakota State Chapter of Delta Chi. I wanted to take a few moments to share some successes that I’ve seen from my own chapter, and others that I worked with.

I had mentioned when we met how we had brothers bike from Brookings, SD to Las Vegas, NV for our National Convention to raise money for the Jimmy V Foundation. This year, our Convention will be held in New Orleans. Four brothers decided they would canoe from Brookings to New Orleans to raise money for the Jimmy V Foundation once again. For more information about their trip, you can visit their website: http://canoeingforthecure.webs.com/.

At the time of the AFA Annual Meeting, I was the Greek Life Graduate Assistant at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. As I told you before, I came back more energized than ever, and was ready to share that with my students. My first opportunity came when I helped lead a service trip to Ecuador in January. A newly member to our STG chapter was along, and we began to have discussions about what it truly meant to be a member of Greek Life, and it was amazing to see how he responded. When we got back for the start of the Spring Semester, he took off and truly became a leader in his organization. When their recruitment efforts faltered, he lead the charge and brought in nine new guys. Along with other young members of the chapter, they organized an organ donation event, which served as a kickoff to a new program by the state of Wisconsin, as well as raised a significant amount of money for a new transplant house in Madison, WI. The state organ donation organization was so impressed and grateful. They’ve also begun to spearhead other projects, including their new push to coordinate a sexual assault/prevention program sponsored by fraternities across the state of Wisconsin. He has been just one of the shining examples from the community that has responded to Extreme Fraternalism.

However, there was one event in particular that made me the proudest. During your session, you asked us to write down one idea that we would like to implement. I wrote about my desire for our community to host a supply drive to benefit an international community in need. Moved by his experience in Ecuador, my student (along with many supporters) recommended that the philanthropy event for Greek Week be a supply drive for the needy families in Bunche, Ecuador. The community responded very well, and raised over 750 lbs of clothes, books, school supplies, medical supplies and so much more. The donations continue to roll in, and many community members are planning on participating in the service trip to help deliver these donations.

This week, I began my new job as the Coordinator of Greek Life and Student Leadership at Keene State College in Keene, NH. This is a newly created position, and I have the opportunity to really begin to give this community the attention, support, and advising they need. I’m very excited to be a full time professional in this wonderful field, and am eager to see where the next few weeks take me. I wanted to thank you and the entire Phired Up team for the work that you do. It is truly appreciated! Thanks again for everything, and have a great day!

Best Regards,

Alex Brown
Coordinator of Greek Life and Student Leadership

L.P. Young Student Center
Keene State College
229 Main Street
Keene NH 03435

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit”- Aristotle

by Matt Mattson

A number of us on the Phired Up team have been reading THE TALENT CODE by Daniel Coyle this month (I had mentioned this back in the summer reading list).  Honestly, this book has invaded my mind and I can’t get it out.  The applications of the principles in this book to what we do at Phired Up are innumerable, and it has really been a fun read.  I’m sure we’ll have more to say about the principles in this book and how they apply to Dynamic Recruitment education and Social Excellence Training, but let me start with this…

Think of your current level of Social Excellence (your social aptitude).  Your social aptitude can be strengthened just like a muscle. All it needs is the right kind of exercise. 

Coyle goes into significant detail about the brain chemistry surrounding building “skills.” Particularly he focuses on a sort of brain circuit insulation called “myelin” which essentially wraps the wiring for certain skills/behaviors/thoughts in protective layers.  These layers get thicker the more times you practice those skills/behaviors/thoughts in the right way.  Early in the book he describes the “myelination process,”

“(1) Every human movement, thought, or feeling is a precisely timed electrical signal traveling through a chain of neurons - a circuit of nerve fibers. (2) Myelin is the insulation that wraps these nerve fibers and increases signal strength, speed, and accuracy. (3) The more we fire a particular circuit, the more myelin optimizes that circuit, an the stronger, faster, and more fluent our movements and thoughts become.”

I’m guessing I’ve lost some readers at this point, and I can understand that.  This content is a bit outside of this blog’s normal range, however, this concept is a huge breakthrough of knowledge for me personally.  It tells me that ANY skill/behavior/thought can be learned (and taught), and there are examples in the book of elements of Social Excellence being mastered over time! So for even the most timid, shy, scared people we work with, if they have the right stimulation and the right kind of practice, they can become Socially Excellent!

I already knew that, but the fact that fancy brain scientists agree with me… well, that’s cool.

When exercised in the right way, your social muscle (or brain circuitry) can truly be strengthened (or myelinated) so that you can be Socially Excellent all the time.

This is why we’re building more and more curriculum that challenges people to learn through experiences that sometimes cause them to (1) fail, (2) learn from their mistake, and (3) keep trying until they get it right.  Sounds simple, we know, but this basic process, is something that has been shied away from in many educational settings — especially with regard to social skills. 

As Josh said in a recent post, “For many, becoming Socially Excellent depends very much on your willingness to first feel the pain of social discomfort.  You’ll feel awkward, clumsy, and scared the first few times you try to adopt an attitude of Social Excellence.  But that’s just the feeling of growing as a person.  Think of the person you want to become, think of the organization you want to create — the only difference between right now and that vision is a small amount of growing pains.”

by Josh Orendi

I remember in college getting a soccer t-shirt that read, “No Pain, No Gain.”  On the pitch I knew that to be true.  Yet, it took me several more years before I realized the t-shirt geniuses weren’t just talking about sports.

The other day I had a realization….  I sincerely cannot recall a moment in my entire life when I grew as a man/friend/professional except for moments that followed feeling uncomfortable.  Literally, it’s the pocket of time that overlaps and follows the pain where improvement is conceived.

Talking with several close friends about this phenomenon, we all seemed to agree that one key factor in our success is that we’re passionate about growing as individuals.  We all choose an attitude that proactively invites the uncomfortable.  In fact, several of us said we “look forward to … even get excited” when the uncomfortable approaches, because we know that growth is on the other side.

It’s the difference between a guy that goes to the gym and a body builder.  Doing one set, one rep, then going home yields no results.  Body builders know that the most important reps are the ones after the burn.  The pain is exciting!  It indicates that growth is about to happen. 

Clarification:  Not all pain is good.  LOL!

As Woody Woodcock often reminds me, it’s all about mindset.  Success in large part is a choice.  Think about your summer recruitment plans — cold calls, meeting strangers, preparing for formal recruitment, etc.  Young leaders face high expectations that come with pressure.  Rather than letting that become stress, consider a new mindset.  Think, “BRING THE PAIN!” because that’s the only thing that is going to make you a better person (the discomfort of working outside of your comfort zone). 

For many, becoming Socially Excellent depends very much on your willingness to first feel the pain of social discomfort.  You’ll feel awkward, clumsy, and scared the first few times you try to adopt an attitude of Social Excellence.  But that’s just the feeling of growing as a person.  Think of the person you want to become, think of the organization you want to create — the only difference between right now and that vision is a small amount of growing pains. 

So, I say BRING THE PAIN!